Thursday, February 24, 2005

Let me lalalay it out for you

She won. It is that plain and simple. Nothing I say or do can detract from the fact that in this case I am the loser, no matter how bitter I get. Her voice, while crackling and off key, has been heard, and apparently liked by the mass public. Yes, Ashlee Simpson has sold millions of records, while all I have this silly little blog that no one reads. But in my eyes it isnt as cut and dry as it all seems.

The fact that Ashlee Simpson is a star and known the world around is proof that the little man has not only come back from the dead, but he has now realized his power – sheer numbers.

It is widely agreed that Ashlee Simpson has zero talent (Rolling Stone - two stars, SNL SNAFU, Orange Bowl debacle, etc), however she has a platinum selling album and won the female new artist of the year award from Billboard (which thankfully is chosen by record sales and not by anyone who knows anything about music). This no talent plus high record sales equation can only mean one thing, the little man is finally being heard!

But what exactly is the little man? Well, he is mostly un-educated and has very little skills. He puts out at an early age and reproduces like a rabbit. He has been held down for generations, until now.

But the problem with the little man is that he is driven by envy. He is envious of the big man, and the big man knows this. The big man will do and say things just to make the little man more envious. The little man will then try to replicate what the big man is doing by purchasing what the big man says. Ashlee Simpson is a product of the big man.

But the good thing about the big man is that he tires quickly of his own products and discards of them, thus leaving the talentless product on a dirty street corner hoping that Playboy will come along to offer one last "hurrah."

Lala that, Bitches!

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