Senseful ramblings of an incoherent nature from a delusional schizophrenic (or my views on current events)

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Super Ads

"The irony is that a parody of censorship was itself censored"

That is a quote from Warren Adelman, the chief operating officer of godaddy.com, the company who ran an ad with an extremely busty woman who was testifying before congress when she had a "wardrobe malfunction." Apparently the NFL asked FOX not to rerun the ad after its initial airing (for more info, go here: http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/playoffs04/news/story?id=1987136).

(BTW, if you want to see the woman from the godaddy ad naked, go here: http://www.fleshbot.com/sex/straight/photo/more-candice-michelle-032570.php)

If this isnt proof of how sheltered this country has become, I dont know what is? It is a sad fact that "morals" are now becoming an excuse for censorship. What has happened to our collective sense of humor? We, as a country, are taking ourselves way too seriously, and it is my opinion that our inability to laugh at ourselves is going to ultimately lead to our downfall. Of course our government wont fall because of its remoralization, but we are starting to look and feel like the class know-it-all/tattle-tail, and we all know what happens to that kid after school.

Besides the fact that we live in today's non-fun attitude, did anyone else think that this year’s crop of ads just really stunk? And not a stink from a week old dog turd, these smelled like fresh elephant dung mixed with some recently shat hippo shit. There were a couple that were entertaining, but they were few and far between. I thought the careerbuilder commercials featuring the chimps were amusing, but the idea to use primates isnt a new one...

My favorite commercials were the Lincoln Fry ads. Those ads werent only funny, but they pretty much bitch slapped religion right in the face. It was obvious to me that these commercials were making fun of the grilled cheese sandwich that sold on ebay for quite a lot of money (tens of thousands) because it had the face of the virgin mary grilled into it. Apparently though, many of the online pundits who make money by critiquing such things as Super Bowl ads believed that these ads were a response to the subservient chicken ads run by Burger King last year because the commercials directs you to visit www.lincolnfry.com. Are they really missing all of the blatant bitch slapping geared at the masses that blindly follow religion based solely on faith? I hope they continue to miss it; I am surely more amused because of their stupidity.

Besides the fact that our more strict government has taken some of the fun out of commercials, among other things, it is apparent to me that advertising agencies themselves have gotten complacent in their requirement to produce good ads. Some of the crap that companies spent way too much money on turned into complete crap! Budweiser, usually the king of the super bowl (think bud bowl, talking frogs, waaaaaaaaaazzzzzzaaaaaahhhhhhhh, etc), put out one overly sappy ad thanking our troops (dont get me wrong, I fully support our soldiers who are risking their lives, I just dread companies that are trying to garner sympathy while at the same time attempting to sell more product. Do they honestly think that by running an ad that thanks our troops that people are going to think, "Bud supports our troops, I must drink Bud." We really arent that mindless, are we?), and a few others that were of no consequence at all.

I think I need to become an ad exec. Here's my pitch for a new Bud commercial:

This commercial starts from a first person perspective. A man (us, the viewer) walks into a half empty dreary looking bar full of other losers and low lifes. He looks into a mirror and we see that he is in his early 30s, is about 5 foot 5, has a huge beer belly, and is balding on the top of his head. The hair on the right side of his head is much longer than the hair on the left side and standing straight up in the air. He pushes the comb-over back into place and continues walking into the bar. After a few steps he looks around the bar and notices that everyone not at the bar itself is having a grand time. Some are playing pool while others are dancing poorly to 80s hair band music, but it is important to note that everyone not at the bar is having a great time. He saddles up next to the bar and asks for an MGD, but alas, that is all tapped out so he settles for the only beer left on tap, Bud. A man next to him asks how he is doing, and he responds by saying, "eh" and slouches back into his bud. The man looks at the clock and the clock fast forwards a few hours. The man then turns back towards the bar and we see that he has now finished his 6th Bud. All of the sudden Def Leopards' "Hysteria" starts to jam over the jukebox and the man jumps up onto the bar. He rubs his eyes and the dark, dreary bar changes colors and comes to life. He dances along the bar, jumps off and shimmies over to the pool table. He grabs a pool cue and drops three balls with one shot. He tosses the cue to a cheering onlooker and macarena's across the dance floor over to an extremely hot woman standing near the cigarette machine. The camera then leaves first man and we are now in the head of a man still sitting at the bar looking at the bartender. The bartender says, "Budweiser really knows how to start a party." We turn around and see our hero kissing and feeling up the Native-American Statue next to the cigarette machine before he stumbles, falls to the ground and passes out.

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