Friday, April 15, 2005

People of this world

I usually only write in this blog, but for this post I need visual assistance from a couple of photos that I found while perusing the internet. Here is the first photo:

America's Next Starlet

As we can see, this lady is a complete and utter mess. It is quite apparent that she rarely leaves the house and that her best friend is the Barka lounger where she is currently planted and growing roots. At first glance you might think that she just took a shower and she is drying off, however, upon a second inspection you will actually notice that this blob of a human being is actually dying her hair blue, as if she didnt already draw enough attention to herself with her girth alone. I can only hope that she has a young child so she has an excuse for the prepubescent doodlings on her hand, but upon facial inspection it is clear to this opinionated asshole that this ogre is the only one responsible for said doodles. Have you noticed that she is wearing a rubber jacket? Is that a veiled attempt at losing weight? One could only imagine, however, the pie resting on her meaty chop seems to signify that she has never been, and will never be, on a diet. Here's to hoping that Fido in the lower right hand corner steals the pie so that this waste of existence will get off her duff and chase after Fido. At this point any exercise will help.

Deiter

Chuck Norris called, he wants his stance back. Is that a look of fear on his face, or is this guy just really wrapped up in his music? Who really knows, and honestly, do any of us have the courage to approach this man and ask him what is really going on? Rumor has it that after this dance he quick turned and goose-stepped out of the dance hall looking for local branch of the KKK. Although this guy is clearly a maniac, it is pleasing to see that he is straight edge, because this guy on anything could spell the end of an entire community. Good looking out Deiter. Now, have you notice the girl in the background? No, not the one with the hot pick stockings, but the one all the way in the back with the camera, taking a picture of this psychopath. Obviously everyone in this building new that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity to see a dancer with this kind of, uh, composure? disposition? mental deficiency?

Truth be told, when I was in Prague I saw this man's Czech cousin doing a similar dance, however that Deiter had a full leather outfit and instead of pointing down towards the ground he kept shifting his head from one side to the other while extending his arm in the air and what looked like sniffing his arm pits. Ah how I miss Europe.

3 comments: