A New Year...
...But all the same old bullshit. Was anyone else mortified at the sea of orange that was the new years celebration in Time's Square? Honestly, what the fuck? Perhaps they were handing out those orange hats as a way of saying that we have been on orange alert for quite some time? As if Time's Square wasnt already enough of a well lit target before the splash of added orange, but I digress. I enjoyed watching the celebration that was happening in Key West! There they lower a transvestite named Sushi, who just happens to be sitting in a huge highheeled show, from the second floor balcony to the ground. I suppose that gives a new meaning to the term "the ball dropping," although in his/her situation I guess we should be talking about the balls chopping.... Haha, snicker snicker, yeah, not too funny
Perhaps this new year means I just wont be funny anymore, but I doubt it. Maybe it means that this 2 month long headache that I have endured will finally subsist and leave me for good. I can always hope, right? Maybe this year I will talk about me instead of talking about what I feel on one topic or another? Yeah, I doubt it. If you really want to know about me, why not just call my phone? Hell, here is my number, 610-986-9051. If I want to talk to you I just might pick up;)
Alright, lets get this year started by talking about the Tsunami that ravaged the Indian Ocean. Yes, the Tsunami was a horrible thing, and I am, for once, at a loss of words in regards to the loss of so much life, but I have to get one thing off my chest and it has to do with all of you religious assclowns who either think that this is a sign of the apacolypse or that this Tsunami was large enough to be regarded as "Biblical."
First of all, the world is not coming to an end, not anytime soon anyway. Sure all human life might one day become extinct, but even then the earth will still survive (assuming we dont destroy it before it destroys us). And as awful as this next statement is going to sound, it is the truth: if any part of the world could survive a population hit like that Tsunami provided, it is that area. Yes, I know, horrible, but you know me;) That statement was not meant as a joke, I am being deadpan serious for once (it doesnt happen that often). Too bad there werent any library's around that people could run into and then seek the help of Jake Gillenhall (see, my seriousness didnt last long). Second, "Biblical," in terms of Noah and his Arc, was much larger than this Tsunami. Sure only half the world was known of at the time of the Bible (even though you should all know that I dont believe in that shit anyway, and by that shit I mean religion), but even then Noah had to take two of every species and put it on his boat. That means that half the world was covered with no survivors. Hmm, this Tsunami, not quite so biblical. It really is a shame that the people in Sri Lanka didnt have a Tsunami warning system that worked so well as Noah's. Shit, Noah had time to build a huge ass boat and collect all the known animals! Too bad we dont have his ancient technology!
Ok, I have worked on this post for long enough, and it has turned into crap... Hopefully this will be my one horrible post of the year and now that I have it out of the way we can move on and talk about some funny shit that i have been thinking about. Soon I will grace you all with my thoughts on todays drivers and how they stink.