The Slowing of Human Evolution

Let me preface this post by stating that I have always been a staunch believer in the survival of the fittest theory composed by Darwin. To me it makes perfect sense that the smartest and most fit of a species will live on to reproduce while the slow and dumb are left out for sacrafice (meaning the predators eat them).

When humans evolved from apes, our early ancestors must have evolved quickly as there is little evidence of a long drawn out evolution. We went from using rock tools to building computers in a blink of an eye in comparison to how long the earth has been around, yet I feel that this is changing.

Yes, we are still producing amazing inventions and creating things that 30 years ago was considered science fiction, but can this "Age of Intelligence," as I have labeled it, continue, or will it end prematurely, ironically because of our technological advancements?

So you are now four paragraphs into this post and are probably thinking, "what the fuck is this dolt talking about?" Well, let me lay it out for you: Nature follows the rules of survival of the fittest, us humans, dont. By keeping alive our elderly, making our obese fatter, encouraging the stupid, and supporting our "gifted," we are deluting our gene pool and making our future less than bright.

Ok, I know that statement sounds horrible, but hear me out. In nature, the animals that survive are the ones that get to reproduce, that means that superior genes and naturally occuring beneficial mutations are passed on to the survivors offspring. Sort of like if an Olympic athlete mated with an Ivy League professor.

Unfortunately that kind of mating in the human species doesnt happen all that often. Why is that? Basically because our sick, slow, and stupid are cared for, not discarded. If one fat, illiterate fuck marries another similarly fat, illiterate fuck, what are the chances that the produce an athletic, future Rhodes scholar? You can blame our society for pushing fast food, or our schools systems for not properly educating our youth, but when it all comes down to it we are all genetically made to either excell or fail. More often, especially in these days, we are seeing more failures than successes. And these failures meet and reproduce with other failures, creating even more failures.

By now you must be asking what can be done to stop this dumbing down of evolution? There is no one thing that can be done to stop this trend, yet I believe that there are ways to help regain our genetic edge.

First, we must let the elderly die. Honestly, is there any reason for us to keep them around after 4 or 5 heart attacks? It is obvious that nature felt it was this persons time to go, why delay the inevitable? Hell, all they do in their last 30 years is bitch and moan anyway, who needs that hassle?

Second, the sick are sick for a reason, because they are meant to die. Ask yourself this, how long does a wounded gazelle last out in the Serengeti?

Third, euthanize the "gifted." Sure they are a wealth of comedic gold, but I can live without that. Hell, they cant even reproduce, so why keep them around? Plus, it will save their parents money and time in their later years when they should be enjoying life, but are stuck changing a 45 year old's diaper.

Finally, we need to create a predator that solely feeds on man. Once we have created this half elephant, half lion, it will be unleashed on the general population without warning, thus testing the intelligence and fitness of each individual. Sure a few Noble Laurettes may get chomped, but many more failures will become lunch, and it is all for the greater good. (We could simply just neuter all the fat, dumb and happy, but that wouldnt be nearly as fun!)

Now, with the human population thinning (categorically and physically) our gene pool will be more specific and once again we can pass on our good traits while throwing the bad ones out with the bath water.

(PS - if you didnt find humor in this entire post, which was meant as a satire on human evolution, than you, yourself, are one of the failures;))