Im number 1

I leave the door open because it gets stuffy in here in the winter and chilly in here during the summer. For whatever reason the heater is malcontent and the AC is in equally disrepair.

I leave the door open in the hopes that someone will pass by and trip over the rug, or themselves, thus providing me with a nice belly laugh. Of course I would have to stymie that laugh until the fallee has passed earshot range, but boy-oh will I be laughing once they have passed that imaginary line.

I leave the door open to watch all the high school kids get real quiet when they realize that someone is in here as they walk by. Then, once they pass my open door they all let out some kind of girly laugh because I heard what they were talking about. Apparently they find it so funny that they forget I am in here quickly, hence the laugh and the continued conversation. I couldnt even tell you how many pregnancy worries I have heard about. Parents, lock up your kids;) Just kidding, let them fuck, lord knows we did (although I suppose some of us wish we did).

I leave my door open so I dont succumb to the ever unrelenting desire to whip it out and make a mess upon my desk. By it I mean my Lego collection and by mess I mean the pieces all over the desk. Or something like that.

I leave my door open in hopes that some people remember who I am even if my proverbial door is shut because distance is a bitch. I suppose an open door leads to promise, or so they say. I honestly dont know who they is and why they would say that though, but the door is still open.

I leave my door open because I have gas. Sometimes. I am not a fan of stewing in my own shit, or even the smell of my own shit.

I leave my door open because I like watching fat people walk to the vending machine. It's kind of a guilty pleasure.

I leave my door open because a closed door can only lead to a closed mind, but maybe not. It certainly makes the place lighter! My mind or my office? Im lost.

I leave my door open because I am excepting of all. Give me your weak, your poor, your mentally handicapped, your disabled, your elderly, and your crippled. But take a number first. The line starts outside my door and winds around the hallway.

Now serving number 1.