Senseful ramblings of an incoherent nature from a delusional schizophrenic (or my views on current events)

Monday, March 21, 2005

Humble Pie or The Theory That I Could Be Completely Wrong or The Gospel According to Josh

If you personally know me, or even if you dont know me at all and your entire connection to me is through this blog, then you should know that I totally and completely believe that there is no god. While I offer no solution to the puzzling question of where and how life began I do, fully, believe in the theory of evolution. My path towards these beliefs, however, has been cloudy, to say the least.

I was raised in a Jewish home, if you can call it that. We were more like "Two Times a Year" Jews, meaning that we went to services twice a year, for Rosh Hoshanna and Yom Kippur, which fall within ten days of each other. The rest of the year we did not go to Temple, yet we toiled with the ideas of Judaism when it was convenient - during Passover while we ate un-leaven bread, and during Chanukah so that my sister and I could feel just as good as those heathen Christian children getting toys for Christmas. Every once in a while we would celebrate Purim by eating those delicious Jewish pastries known as hamentashen which are basically triangular shaped cookies with some soft of fruit filling in the middle (note that I did not say the center, because the cookie is flat, not filled). The extent of my knowledge of Jewish history was gained during my years at Hebrew School which I attended every Thursday and Sunday, religiously (wink, wink), from the 3rd grade until the end of 7th grade. Now I must add that I did not, on any level, believe in any of the Jewish lore that I was being taught. I went to Hebrew School solely because I was forced into going. My parents were footing the bill and feeding my growing body, I didnt see any way out of the torture. Instead, I made Hebrew School fun in other ways, but those stories are best served at another time.

Now as I said, I didnt believe in a single thing that was being taught to me. Ok, that isnt entirely valid. I did believe in the history of the Jewish people and the trials and tribulations that they went through, I just had a problem believing in the whole god angle, plus one fat cow of a teacher tried to tell me that Moses did not part the Red Sea, but rather the Reed Sea. That's an extra e for all of you who didnt notice. Later that year she got fired for stealing all the sedaca money (the unisef of the Jewish world).

During my thirteenth year of life I was forced into having a Bar Mitzvah, which all the good lil Jew boys have (girls can have them too, but not if you follow the real Jewish rules...). Of course I still did not believe in the Jewish ways, but I certainly did believe in the money that people I didnt even know where throwing my way, so who was I to turn that down?

As my teenage years went on, so did my dis-belief in the almighty. In fact, I came to believe that everyone who believe in a god were only weak people who were unable to deal with their own stresses, so instead they talked to god who made everything alright for them. This belief, which I now attribute to ignorance on my part, lasted until I was halfway through college. What changed my mind? Well, my ever increasing intelligence of course. While I had, for years, believed in free will for all people, I never, for any reason at all, attributed those thoughts to religion. It was at that point that I realized that, just as in life, people can choose what they want to believe, and if that works best for them, more power to them.

Some eight years have since passed since my quasi-epiphany and I still feel the same way. But I have recently added something to help further define my beliefs while also recognize everyone else's at the same time: The idea and acceptance that I could be completely wrong!

I base my sole thought process on the idea that there is no god whatsoever. Science and evolution, in essence, is all that I believe in, but I cannot shun and totally disregard the thoughts of the majority of this world. I therefore offer up this new belief, a new way of thinking if you will, which I will call Recognostic. I define it thusly:

Recognostic - The complete and utter disbelief of any supreme being, god or otherwise noted, with the recognition of the possibility that there is a god.

Confusing? I hope not. It basically states that I dont believe in god at all, but I am willing to recognize the possibility that everything I believe and stand for is completely wrong. There are so many people in this world who believe in god, or gods, etc, that I feel it would be criminal to not include those ideas into my beliefs, plus I am willing to accept the fate that what I think to be truth might be completely wrong.

Dont worry folks, I am not jumping on the god bandwagon, ever. And I am certainly not covering my back should I die and find out that there is an afterlife only to be condemned to hell because I didnt believe (hell suits me anyway, who am I to complain;)). I am merely letting you in on my infinite wisdom in the hopes that you will understand what I am saying, come to believe my words as the gospel, and join my commune so that I can have followers and impregnate mad bitches.

Obviously that last part was just a joke, unless you want to be one of my followers (who am I to stop you, except the omnipotent one!)? I do believe that my religious journey has ended, at least for now. I think Recognostic is the way to go for me and I further believe that the idea behind it - being able to accept that what one believes might be wrong - is something that all religious, and non-religious people should get behind, because when it comes down to it, not a single person on this earth knows the truth behind religion. Then again, I could be wrong.


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