There is a telemarketing company somewhere out there in the world who employs an 80 year old man living through the back end of life. He has been working at this telemarketing company for over 6 years, and in spite of his advanced years he has become quite successful. But this story of perseverance is not the one I plan on detailing today. No kiddies, this story is about a little old man who couldnt stop touching himself - Pocket Pete.
When Pocket Pete started at this telemarketing company 6 years ago each telemarketer had a headset on so they could speak to the customer and only had to use one hand to operate the program on the computer. This allowed Pocket Pete's other hand to roam freely, and roam freely it did! Once settled into his chair and ready to work the phones Pocket Pete would take his left hand and slowly move it into his pants. Since he only did this while sitting down and because he only needed one hand to actually work, the activities of his left hand went unnoticed.
That is until recently, when said telemarketing company went through a technology update that required all employees to now use two hands on the computer. Once the new technology was implemented, Pocket Pete's productivity decreased greatly. At first the thought was that he didnt understand the new system, so he was given extra classes to learn the system and time to get used to it. After a short while his productivity did not increase, so he was scheduled to be monitored by one of the managers. Shortly after his first monitored call began it was noted that his hand slipped into his pants and stayed their, thus causing his poor productivity.
Pocket Pete has since been confronted about his, uh, problem, however it seems that old habits are hard to break as Pocket Pete is still unable to use more than one hand at a time. As of this reporting the next chapter in the story of Pocket Pete is unwritten, but I am sure it involves the sanitary cleaning of a certain keyboard and one old man huddled in a corner of the bathroom with his pants dropped around his ankles.