Senseful ramblings of an incoherent nature from a delusional schizophrenic (or my views on current events)

Friday, March 04, 2005

Chicken tastes good, why not just eat chicken

I have a real problem with people who praise strange food as "tasting real good; tastes just like chicken." I dont mind the strange food so much, because I will try just about anything that doesnt have fungus growing on it at least once. But if you are going to tell me that it tastes just like chicken, fuck you, I am going to eat chicken!

It doesnt make sense to me to pay all kinds of money to try something exotic if it is going to taste like grounded, clucking fowl. "Sir, would you like to taste iguana, it tastes just like chicken?" How about you eat your chicken tasting iguana and I will go have some actual chicken, because I am sure that the real thing is going to taste more like chicken than some fuckin reptile that belongs in the zoo (ironically, I just found out that the iguana is also known as the tree chicken...). What is so bad about eating the actual bird itself that we, as humans, have to go around searching for other creatures that taste similar?

Can you believe there is an actual Harvard Study on why animals taste similar? Interesting stuff. It deals with common ancestry theory, which by itself is thought provoking. However, there is a figure on the bottom of the page that outlines the tastes of different types of animals that shows that everything from a kangaroo to a two-toed amphiuma - including a tyrannosaurus rex - tastes like chicken. And from that figure, with no exceptions, I will only eat chicken! It was interesting to see that humans, apparently, taste like pork, which leads me to think of many "other white meat" jokes that I just wont share because they are too racially charged.

Next time I eat chicken I am going to turn to the person next to me and say, "Man, this is some good chicken, tastes just like rattle snake."

3 Comments:

Anonymous Oxthemoron said...

Fuck chicken.

I prefer to eat PUSSAH!

Besides, it's more fun to say things like... MMmmm... this roasted scorpion cock is GREAT... tastes just like dead baby!

-shvybzik

12:39 PM

 
Blogger renegade elf said...

So, burning human flesh smells disgusting to other human beings but the odor of burning chicken(or pork,beef,etc)flesh smells delicious to us. I wonder if the smell of a hmaburger cooking grosses out a cow. I bet burning human flesh is like our bbq chicken to a cow. yum.

9:57 PM

 
Blogger Luindur said...

Who said burning human flesh smells nasty? I dont judge the person by the smell of his prefered delicacy;)

12:37 AM

 

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