Senseful ramblings of an incoherent nature from a delusional schizophrenic (or my views on current events)

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

It's over Johnny

This past midnight began the last 24 hours of me being younger than I will be tomorrow. Now saying that I suppose that this comment is true for every day that I live on this earth, but there is only one midnight a year where 24 hours later I will have aged by a number, not just a day.

28

I suppose it could be worse, I could be 30, or 40, or 50. At least I have all those years ahead of me still. And 28 is one of my 3 lucky numbers. I'll give you a cookie if you can guess the other 2, and a second cookie if you can tell me their significance. I have an unlucky number as well, any guesses?

On the day of the eve of my birthday I have a few comments and questions for you to ponder:

* How great is it that Rosie O'Donnell is playing a gifted mongoloid in CBS's tv movie "Riding the Bus With My Sister?" Now I dont usually watch TV movies, in fact, I couldnt tell you a single one that I have ever watched, but I might have to make an effort to see what might turn out to be the gem of the TV season!

* If guys get along better with guys, and girls get along better with guys, how do lesbians find friends?

* How funny is it to see those pictures of Bush holding that Saudi Prince's hand while they are walking and talking? I truly hope that it is the right hand that the Arabs wipe their asses with (you do know that they dont use toilet paper, right?).

* Wouldnt it suck if you were a gold fish who had just finished taking one of those long string like poops only to find out that instead of falling to the bottom of the tank the shit is stuck to your gold fish ass? You'd have to deal with all the other gold fish laughing at your poop string ass as well as all those driveling humans looking at you and banging on the glass. Not having hands to wipe yourself stinks, literally.

* I believe that anyone with the license plate "See-Yah" should be driving a much faster car than a 1993 Chevy Cavalier.

* Imagine how much it would suck to be the "Can You Hear Me Now" guy from Verizon because every drunken idiot would come up to you all crocked and cock-eyed while slurring the words, "hey man, I can hear you now," before turning to his friends, laughing like a hyena and fishing for high fives. It is only a matter of time before the "Can You Hear Me Now" guy goes postal and shoots some people. "YES FUCKER, I CAN HEAR YOU NOW, BUT YOU CANT HEAR ME! Have another."

* I think that I do my best thinking in the shower. I suppose I feel the most vulnerable there. The problem is that I forget 50% of my thoughts while drying off. I hope this doesnt get worse with age.

So all you fuckers out there wish me a happy end to 27. Im sure I will send it off properly later tonight!

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