Senseful ramblings of an incoherent nature from a delusional schizophrenic (or my views on current events)

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Paved, yeah, that's the theme!?!

What happens when the windows close and the fresh air becomes exhausted? Do we cease breathing or do we allow the staleness of the room into our lungs? What are we then exhaling? Does grunting make the task of breathing easier? Perhaps we should grow gills and learn to live in the ocean, although I would much prefer a fresh water pond, or better yet, a large lake. Then at least my habitat would be limited as opposed to the expansive seas.

I used to enjoy swimming as a wee lad, and I probably still would, although I have a problem going into any body of water that doesnt have a paved bottom. I think it has something to do with the mushiness of the ground, especially in a lake. Muddy ground between my toes makes me nausious. The beach is a little bit better for swimming because the sand is nice, but the salty water is an issue, as is the endless supply of hospital needles that appear each and ever summer. But I hear that issue has been taken care of, not that I would know for certain since I actually dont go to the beach. I have always preferred to sit inside while everyone else enjoys the splendors of the sun and sand.

Nice has an enjoyable beach, if you can call it a beach. See, in place of sand they have rocks. It takes some getting used to, but it is an experience, especially since there are naked tits all over the place. At least there are if you are there on a sunny day. On a rainy day, not so much. You do have a good chance of running into a group of Asian tourists dressed in their finest business attire who are admiring, or perhaps laughing, at their boss who is hoping up and down in the ocean in nothing but his tightest of tighty-whities. Allow me to confirm the stereotype of Asian men: yes, it’s true.

I remember fearing jelly fish as a child, but I dont remember why. Maybe it was because they were these pink fleshy things that would just float in the water. I never did get stung, but that was because as soon as I would see one I would flee the salty water just like the lil pansy boy I was. I have been told that I was a whiny little kid, but that comes from the same man who called me Idiot Child, or IC for short, so I cant really tell if I was whiny or am just being made fun of. I do know that I used to bang my head on the walls and floor as a child; I have a dent to prove that story.

My sister was fearful of jelly fish as well, even more so than me. There was one summer in Brigantine, NJ where the jelly fish out numbered the people. The carcasses of the jelly fish littered the beach and my sister avoided them like they were land mines. Unfortunately for her, while dodging one entity she landed on another. She shrieked, jumped as high as a lil girl could and ran off the beach, hiding in the dunes. She didnt get stung, but she was certainly shocked, as was the rest of the beach. She was called Moodle as a kid. I still dont know what a "Moodle" is. She was also called M. Bunny whilst in high school. That was short for Big Dumb Bunny. How my dad got M from Big Dumb I will never know, but I suppose that says a lot about the man. My sister wasnt whiny, just over active. She still is. Instead of banging her head, she took a dive down the stairs. My parents are still trying to figure out how she managed to get over or around the child proof gate.

Not to be outdone, I once took a spill down the stairs in my child walker. They have since been ruled a hazard to children. I survived, but that might have to do with my thick skull more than anything else. However the thick skull proved to be more of a hindrance when I got my head stuck in between two bars at the mall as a child. After getting pulled out with the assistance of some muscle bound security guy my parents had the balls to take me back to the same mall the following weekend. I showed them by getting my head stuck again. This time a crow-bar was used to expedite my freedom. They stopped taking me to the mall for a little while and the mall itself has since replaced the bars with glass panes. I would like to think that I have something to do with that.

I havent seen that many jelly fish at the beach anymore, but my not going to the beach play a part as to why I dont see them. I would like to go back to Nice, but I hear that Australia has some nice nude beaches - that way I can see tits, ass, and bush, preferably paved.

I guess I wouldnt mind living in the ocean off the coast of Australia.


Blogger eurotrancegirl said...

LOL, so does this mean this summer we can go to a pool? It has a paved bottom, right?

Oh yeah if you want too we can both pay 50 bux and have you added on to my beach house so you could go down whenever, more about this later!

4:25 PM

Blogger Luindur said...

Uh, why would I want to do that?

4:36 PM

Blogger Seth said...

I think that a few summers at Arrowhead would be more than enough to put you off swimming. Besides, it was much more fun to hang out in "dry dock" and play knock hockey.

10:37 PM

Blogger Luindur said...

Knock Hockey ruled, almost as fun as gaga. Remember that special kid Ross, even though he wasnt special, and that other kid who had a face like a chimp, with matching ears, who liked to climb trees? Although I was quite good at swimming, I got through all of the levels!

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