Senseful ramblings of an incoherent nature from a delusional schizophrenic (or my views on current events)

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Good Ole' Tree Branch Arm

If you are a female and you are missing your left arm and you get engaged, do you wear your engagement ring (and eventually your wedding ring) on your right hand? Or do you put it on a prosthetic? How funny would it be if during the wedding your fiancé/husband is trying to put the ring on your fake left ring finger and all the sudden your arm falls off? Your all dressed up in a long, flowing white dress, trying to hold back a tear of joy so as to not fuck up your make-up that took hours to apply and in the next instant your future husband - who is looking quite debonair in his black tux - is standing there with your fake arm in his hands, mouth akimbo, looking at you while wondering what to do. What if all you have is a hook? Do you put the ring on the hook? Im glad I am not missing any limbs because that would surely suck!

If I had to live life without a limb I really dont know which one I would take. I guess I would need my right arm since I am right handed, although it would be fun to watch people try to decipher my left handed writing. I suppose that I would like to have both of my legs, just so I can get around, but having a motorized scooter would be cool, at least in the beginning, ya know, as a novelty. But after a while I am sure it would get annoying. I guess I am trying to say that my left arm is the most expendable of all of my limbs.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What if she's missing all four limbs? Do you stick a diamond studded collar on her? That would suck b/c it would be really expensive.

1:48 PM

 
Blogger Luindur said...

If she's missing all four limbs you throw her in the ocean and say, "there, now your fucked!"

7:42 PM

 
Anonymous oxthemoron said...

I would take the prosthetic, face the congregation, and go WOOOOOOO while making masturbatory motions with the prosthetic.

10:22 AM

 
Blogger Seth said...

Um, if you really want to get a scooter there's a contest here http://emcapp1.electricmobility.com/RSWeb/WinAFree.nsf/wDemRew?OpenForm

I'm sure you and kyle would have fun riding around walmart together.

2:43 PM

 
Blogger Luindur said...

I want one of those scooters that can stand up on two wheels, that would rock! It would make being paralyzed worth it.

2:56 PM

 
Blogger Seth said...

Stand up on two wheels? Like a segway? Just take Kyle's.

3:22 PM

 
Blogger Luindur said...

It is actually made by the same people who invented the segway:

http://www.independencetechnology.com/index.html

pretty fuckin sweet if you ask me!

3:34 PM

 

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