Senseful ramblings of an incoherent nature from a delusional schizophrenic (or my views on current events)

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Ouch!

Lets quickly go over the many ways I have bloodied my hand:

1. Scraped right index finger knuckle so often and badly that the last time I did it I was able to see bone, while playing a jewish game called gaga, during summer camp, 1991. Permanent scar.

2. Spooned my right palm between my thumb and index finger while scooping mint chocolate chip, Breyers ice cream. Thats right, I cut myself with a spoon, and nearly severed a tendon, but thankfully didnt. It was a bloody mess and my super intelligent father said that in order to help the blood coagulate that I should crack an egg, mix it up and stick my hand in it. When I got to the hospital I was nearly laughed out of the ER. I still give my father shit about that! This happened the day before my last final, freshman year of high school, two days before leaving for Puerto Rico, where I had to swim in the ocean with a latex glove and plastic bag over my hand, talk about stylin' (1992). Permanent scar.

3. Repeated helmet impacts to the back side of my right hand, first causing a bruise, then a bump, which turned into a bump so big that the skin broke. Ah football, gotta love it. Senior year of Lower Merion High School, football (1994)(during this season I almost nearly ripped my pinky finger off at the knuckle while reaching for a hand off and getting the tip of my pinky caught in the QBs face mask. Naturally I didnt see the trainer about it and my pinky knuckle is very large). Permanent dent.

4. Repeated helmet impacts to the back side of my left hand. See number three. Freshman, Sophomore, and Junior years of the University of Pennsylvania, football (1995-1997). Permanent scars and one dent, hand and thumb.

5. Hot Clam Chowder burn to the back side of my left hand. Heated up clam chowder in the microwave, took clam chowder out of the microwave. Potato in clam chowder was so hot that it exploded, landing on my hand. Burnt area puffed up, eventually popped and, well, the rest was a yucky mess. Spring, 2004. Permanent scar.

6. Screwdriver to the left middle finger, taking out a fairly significant chunk of skin, while attempting to screw a, uh, screw through some fairly tough plastic. Screw slipped, screwdriver drove downward, chunk of finger skin hanging off, yum. May 21, 2005. Potential permanent scar.

And now the ways that I havent bloodied my hands:

1. Knife

2. Any other kind of purposely made to cut sharp item.

Hey, at least I keep my injuries interesting

4 Comments:

Blogger Seth said...

Those damn jewish games, they'll kill you if you don't watch out.

The first time I was in Israel some girls taught me a makeout game where you burned things with cigarettes.


Not as much fun as it sounds. Although I did get some action :)

1:49 PM

 
Blogger Luindur said...

Burn things like ants and leaves? Or burn things like hands, nipples, and cockandballs? Action always good; burns, not so much.

1:59 PM

 
Blogger oakleyses said...

ugg outlet, longchamp outlet, tiffany and co, ray ban sunglasses, prada outlet, air max, louis vuitton outlet stores, louis vuitton outlet, uggs outlet, louis vuitton outlet, michael kors outlet, longchamp handbags, ray ban sunglasses, nike shoes, air max, longchamp handbags, rolex watches, kate spade outlet, oakley sunglasses, prada handbags, replica watches, michael kors outlet online sale, oakley sunglasses cheap, louboutin outlet, louis vuitton handbags, gucci outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses, louboutin, oakley sunglasses, louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet, cheap uggs, polo ralph lauren outlet, tory burch outlet, uggs, oakley sunglasses, polo ralph lauren, michael kors outlet, jordan shoes, ugg boots clearance, ray ban sunglasses, burberry outlet, burberry outlet, louis vuitton, christian louboutin, michael kors outlet

1:00 AM

 
Blogger oakleyses said...

coach outlet store online, michael kors uk, new balance pas cher, michael kors outlet, north face, abercrombie and fitch, ralph lauren, nike air force, vanessa bruno, kate spade handbags, nike roshe run pas cher, air jordan, true religion jeans, louboutin, vans pas cher, sac guess, air max, hollister, sac burberry, michael kors, north face, nike free, ray ban sunglasses, air max, timberland, longchamp, nike air max, nike tn, converse pas cher, polo lacoste, coach outlet, true religion outlet, hogan outlet, sac longchamp pas cher, michael kors pas cher, replica handbags, ray ban pas cher, nike free pas cher, coach purses, hollister, oakley pas cher, polo ralph lauren, nike blazer, true religion outlet, lululemon outlet online, true religion jeans, air max pas cher, nike roshe, mulberry, sac hermes

1:02 AM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home