Here's how I feel about this race...

It's as if the election is the big game of the season. All other games were just warm-up for this one on one, winner takes all brawl. The Democrats, dejected losers of the last big game, come in all cocky with their hot new quarterback, the young voters. The Democrats brag about how many new young voters they have registered to vote and how this age demographic was going to throw for the big TD exactly when the team needed it. The Democrats failed to remember, and take into acount for that matter, the Rpublicans big play right defensive end, Mr. and Mrs. Sunday Morning Church Goer, The Religious Right!

The Republicans took the early lead, scoring early and often with victories across the mid-west and the dirty south, capping of the scoring with a two point conversion with some vistories in the country mid-Atantic states. The Democrats mounted a comeback with victories spanning the North Atlantic, the Western States, and the norther territories. It came down to two plays, a score in Florida, followed by another victory in Ohio.

The Democrats had the ball and were driving, first getting inside the ten yard line in Florida, 4th and goal, the young voters drop back only to get pummeled on the blind side by the religious right. The Republicans take over, and drive 95 yards for the score.

The Democrats, after a fine kick off, start on their own 10 yard line with Ohio on the line. Needing to drive 90 yards with under a minute remaining seemed like a daunting task at first, but the young voters gets the Democrats driving. Yet the Republicans defense picks it up and stalls the Democrats drive on the 15 yard line. The Democrats line up for the 32 yard field goal for the win. The ball is snapped, the hold is down and the kick is.... the kick is.... blocked! Blocked by The Religious Right who hurled their body over the top of the line, reached for the ball, got their middle finger extended far enough to skew the tragetory of the kicked ball to the left, leaving the Democrats degected and demoralized.

After the game the Young Voters soon graduated college and were left to look for work in a spiralling economy. The Democrats were seen looking for the next superstar stereotype and already had their eyes set on scribing a multi-year contract with the seemingly free agent latino population as well as middle class women. The Republican went on to celebrate their victory by throwing their guns up in the air and firing round after round into the stary night sky. Needless to say many forgot the laws of gravity and were slaughtered by the earthward racing bullets. The Republicans shortly shook off the loss of their numbers as all that were killed had already reproduced enough sheep to strengthen the party two-point-five-fold. The brainwashing of this next generation of sheep has already begun, with improvements being made on directional firing of projectiles as well as the ability to squeak out, on average, an additional one-point-five republican off-spring per person. Thats correct, per person... Finally, the MVP of yet another election, The Religious Right disappeared shortly after the game. They were a no show at the press conference and all efforts to contact the super-star have been thwarted. Rumor has i that they are back in hidding, growing in numbers, and preparing for the next big game...

Then again, the race might not be over. Seems like the young voters and the religious right have gotten into a squabble in Ohio.... More news at 11...