East Loch Ness

The monster comes out of the sea, looking from side to side to see what it can eat. It is big and green and slimy and moving slowly up the beach. It was dark, and gloomy, and foggy. No one was on the beach. It was 4AM. Finding no food, the monster made its way back into the ocean, never to be seen again.

I was there though. I saw the monster. I was on the board walk. I broke into the "Boardwalk Rides" to go on all the rides that I couldnt afford to pay for during the hours that the place was in operation. I was on the Ferris wheel when I saw the ocean open up and the monster make its way onto the beach.

It looked rather hungry, at least in my interpretation of what a hungry monster looks like. The fog moved aside as he walked along the beach, almost like a curtain opening up on a stage. Once out of the water the monster shook all of the ocean water off of itself, like it was a dog coming out of the rain.

I took pictures, but I am waiting for the biggest offer to sell them. So far the national enquirer has offered $500,000, but I am waiting for a cool mil.

I also rode the tilt-a-whirl, the tea-cups, and the bumper cars, which arent really that fun if you are by yourself. I couldnt make any food since it would take too long to heat up the oil that everything is cooked in, but I did sip on a Pepsi as I watched the monster walk up the beach.

I can only guess that the fog horn muffled the sound of the moving iron of the Ferris wheel.

The homeless population has decreased recently, and there is a lot of missing house pets.

It had a horn on the tip of his nose, just like all good monsters should, and its feet were webbed, which makes sense since it is aquatic. Its nostrils were wide and spitting ooze as it breathed.

The Ferris wheel is pretty hard to control when you are the only person around. You have to get it started and then jump on when a car comes spinning around. Getting off is even trickier. You have to time your leap well enough so that you can avoid the support poles, but also land with enough space to stop before the end of the boarding strip.

The monster had thick, long legs and a long tail with a fin at the end for propulsion. Its arms were smaller, but still thick with muscles. It also had spines down the length of its back.

As the monster swam back into the ocean the fog rolled back in and serenity of the early morning returned. Dont tell anyone about what I saw, it's a secret for now. I also dont want to lose my opportunity to ride the rides for free.

Suddenly Silent

Is religion a sign of higher intelligence? No other species can grasp the idea of religion and they dont pray to some unknown god for assistance.

OR

Is religion a sign of humanity's weakness: It's inability to deal with the unknown. We NEED answers for everything, yet when it comes to religion we have to get by with just having faith.

OR

Does it really matter at all? When we all inevitably die, there will be no right and wrong, just death. I have faith in that.

Omega Storm

Last night while watching the 11 o'clock news I learned that once tropical storm names pass W they then are named after the Greek alphabet. It is after W and not Z because they dont use Z names, Or Q, U, X and Y names either! This year's W name is Wilma, so after Tropical Storm Wilma comes and goes, the next storm will be named Tropical Storm Alpha and I would guess that they would but the year after Alpha, just in case there is another one in the future.

Tropical Storm naming for Atlantic Ocean storms began in 1953. Then all the names were female. In 1979 names alternated between male and female names. They also retire names from the register if the storm was particularly devastating.

By the end of 2004 there have been 232 named storms. That means that since the naming began 51 years ago there has been an average of 4.5 storms per year. This year alone, with the latest storm Tammy bearing down on America's eastern seaborne, we have had 19 named storms. The most tropical storms on record for one year was in 1933, when there were 21. The storm season lasts from June 1 to November 30, so it is only natural to think that we will be naming some storms according to the Greek alphabet.

So far you might be bored by this meteorology lesson, but I am going somewhere with this. The Bible mentions that alpha is the beginning and omega is the end. Does that then translate that the beginning of the end is neigh?

We are just over 4 months into this hurricane season, and with 19 storms down we have averaged nearly 5 storms a month. With 2 months left we can say that there will be 10 more storms, but I will round it down to 9. That means that we will get up to Tropical Storm Eta.

Since Alpha is the beginning, if we designate every storm since Alpha with a Greek Alphabet name, the Omega Storm will be the storm in 2006 designated as Raphael. This is of course an estimation since it is nearly impossible for me to guess how many storms we might get next summer. If we dont get up to Raphael next summer (sometime in early September) then the Omega Storm will be one of the early storms in the summer of 2007, most likely in June.

What does all this mean? Well, basically the world is coming to an end sometime between October and November of 2006 or between June and July of 2007. At most we have a year and three fourths left to put all our ducks in order before the world as we know it comes to an end.

Enjoy life will you can. Dont be upset that the world is ending and become depressed. Instead, celebrate the life you have lived and have fun with the time we all have left.